Are You A Closet Introvert?

I've finally been moved to add a new post. I've vowed to be less lax in the future...

I was at the ASTD Cascadia regional conference last week and was socializing with some extroverts. (some of them were really extroverts) We got to talking about personality types, Myers Briggs, etc. When I told the group that I was an INFJ, most were surprised and only one said "of course you are!" He doesn't count because he takes the assessment annually and knows too much for his own good.

So, this got me to wondering why my colleagues are often surprised to hear I'm an introvert. I decided to attempt to view myself from their perspective and see what they might perceive. Here's what I came up with:

• I seem to genuinely enjoy interacting with other people
• I appear relaxed when I'm teaching/training, and am able to engage most audiences
• In networking/social situations I'm generally surrounded by a knot of people - often talking rapidly, gesturing wildly and laughing a little too loud.

All of those statements are true. I guess I can see where they might not get the introvert thing. So, I took a closer look from the perspective of my friends and family. Here's some additional qualification:

• I seem to genuinely enjoy interacting with other people. I do. I truly do. Until I don't. The blinds on the front of my house lower from the top so people can't see in. I don't answer the door without looking through the peephole, and I always screen my phone calls. If it weren't for my husband, I might not even know my neighbors. Thank goodness for him because they're really nice people!
• I appear relaxed when I'm teaching/training, and am able to engage most audiences. I love training. I know what I'm going to say ahead of time, I know who my audience is, and I have control of the entire session. If I get tired, I ask a question or get the audience to do an exercise. In the end, we all enjoy ourselves and learn something. It's so great that most good teaching techniques require the audience to do a lot of the hard work.
• In networking/social situations I'm generally surrounded by a knot of people - often talking rapidly, gesturing wildly and laughing a little too loud. Yes, but did you notice that I haven't moved from my spot the entire time? Extroverts love me because I can make contact and be receptive from afar - and they come talk to me. I'm really really good at that part. Once I'm surrounded by extroverts, I can use that INFJ empathy to adjust to the mood they're projecting.

Now you're probably wondering what the heck I'm doing in HR. Me too! Just kidding. I have actually found that although INFJs account for only 2% of the population, a lot of us wind up in "people" professions. I have two close HR colleagues who are also INFJs.

Does this post have a point? Not really, it's mostly just reflection. But, if you're a closet introvert, or an extrovert who has to live with one, drop a comment.

For all you extroverts dealing with us, here's a little something you might enjoy: "Caring For Your Introvert"